'D' - lightful!

When I lived overseas one of the highlights of any day was the mail. I had to travel to the Post Office to get it and nothing can describe either the joy in receiving or the disappointment at finding nothing there. And then there were the parcels - even better. I received some very unusual items in packages. One of the most memorable got me an invite to customs as the white powder leaking from the parcel had caused some concern. Love my sherbet fountains - what can I say?! When we had visitors it was lovely so see them but even lovelier to see what they'd brought with them - chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate! And, for some reason Angel Delight. Peru didn't really do puddings so I suppose something like Angel Delight became extra special, particularly among the English.

All of this gets me around to my little God alphabet - now 'D' for delight! This is a lovely, lovely God word because it tells us that God delights in us. According to dictionary definitions God is charmed, enchanted, captivated, entranced and thrilled by me. And I give him pleasure, happiness, joy and gladness. Wow! Simply writing those words makes me smile, sit up that bit straighter and taller (?) and feel better about myself. To think that this is how God sees me is amazing. And surely that ought to change me. Maybe if I saw myself more as God sees me I would be the better person for it. I see lots of fb posts on how we shouldn't concern ourselves with how others see us, particularly if they are putting us down - but we can do even better than that. We can look in a mirror and say 'God delights in me - he is charmed, enchanted, captivated, entranced and thrilled by little ME'. And not by what I do or what I have achieved - but just by who I am - simply by me. In response he asks us to delight ourselves in him - in all we are and in what we do to give him pleasure, happiness, joy and gladness. 

And Angel Delight - if you ever invite me to dinner, please don't feel obliged to serve it up - think I had my fill of it all those years ago. 

I like to think my tastes have become more sophisticated. Bring on the jelly and ice cream!

But if you would like '1001 ways with Angel Delight' I think I can oblige!

Pennies from Heaven

I was a Brownie once. I loved it and vividly remember many of the details of Brownie life. I can almost smell the shoe polish as my dad polished my had-to-be brown shoes. And the smell of Brasso as I insisted on polishing badges and buckles myself. I was definitely an OCD Brownie. Everything had to be exactly right!

One Brownie event I loved was 'Thinking Day' when we were encouraged to think of Brownies all over the world, and in the case of my Brownie pack, generally think good thoughts all day. As part of Thinking Day we had to shine a penny, along with the badges and buckles. I'm not too sure what that was all about, but I loved the shiny pennies. I'm just realising that I have no idea what became of them!

Sally and I get lots of pennies. They come in bags and jars and boxes from so many people who save their small change or ambush family and friends for theirs - all for Rwanda. Just today The latest box arrived. I can't tell you what joy these pennies bring to our house. People often half apologise for what to them seems so little, but those pennies mean a lot to us. They speak of commitment to our work, love and concern for the people of Rwanda who receive help as a result, and I can't put into words how much all this encourages us. Every penny counts and every penny is precious.

Today I also remember another penny from childhood. A boy knocked me over in the playground and my very favourite teacher gave me a cold penny to hold against the bump on my head. Don't think anyone had heard of A&E and concussion! When I went to return it to her she said I could keep it. She may as well have given me a thousand pounds, it was so precious. A little girl who rarely had money for sweets (violins out!) didn't even spend it for a very long time. I treasured that penny so dearly. That was largely because of the person who gave it to me - the giver made the gift special.

So to everyone out there who continues to give me pennies today - thank you. They are precious, yes, because of how much stuff they turn into in Rwanda, but also because you, the givers are precious too. Never underestimate the value of the penny - each one counts and is much appreciated.

And the bump on the head? Some would say that explains a lot! it was almost worth it for that very special penny.

All for one and one for all!

It's team time again - well at least the beginnings - the search for a Rwanda team for 2015. I have a good idea of the kind of team for this time round and some names in mind. Will be asking shortly! It's an exciting part of the process, but not the easiest. For Rwanda's sake and for the sake of individual team members it is important to get it right. This is where I am relieved that the real team picker is God and even when I don't get it he does know exactly what he's doing.

So what makes a team? Well, here are some thoughts.

'T' is for together. Always on the look-out for good team players; people who will play the game with others; play their part for the good of the rest; respect leadership - a kind of all for one and one for all. Yes, I'm looking for the musketeers!

'E' is for each - because while we want a good closely knit team we also love that each person brings that unique something that is all their own. Each has his/her own gifts, personalities and abilities. And even their own quirkiness. Love watching how God uses the quirky!

'A' is for adaptable. From experience this is a bigger challenge for some than it is for others! Even with the most detailed of planning nothing EVER goes to plan. You can sit around bemoaning the fact and going on about how 'they' should do better or different - or adapt - and learn that your way is not the only way - nor even always the best way.

'M' is for ministry - the willingness to serve. This is a must. There needs to be the expectation that hands will get dirty and hearts broken as we give all of us to all of 'them'. This is hugely rewarding but costly. Nothing ever quite prepares anyone for this - either the cost or the blessing.

Of course an overseas missions team may not be for you, but we are all on a team - the Jesus team - and all of the above apply as we serve him wherever and whenever. I'm sure we could all do the 'together' thing better, do our own thing better, adapt better and serve better. Jesus had a team and what a motley crew that was! And he has a team now - called the church. If Jesus were on the sidelines now as we play the game, I wonder what he would be shouting?!

Back to my team in formation - it's an exciting but wee bit daunting part of the whole process. Wouldn't be the first time I've been told - 'well, all the best with that lot!' before leaving! And then there's me - because they have to contend with me - now there's a challenge!

Lost and Found

I am the world's expert on getting lost. I have had some scary and very amusing moments in the country called 'Lost'. I once got on the wrong bus in Lima and decided that the only thing to do was stay put - once I realised - as it was late and dark and scary. I figured that that was safer and once 'there' (wherever 'there' was) I could decide what to do. We got to the end of the line which turned out to be the middle of nowhere and I was the only person on the bus apart from the driver - people don't generally want to go to the middle of nowhere. The driver turned to me and said 'Now where exactly did you want to go?' I told him and he kindly took me to another bus and told that driver where to leave me. I have been 'lost' umpteen times in hospitals and shopping centres - my specialities! And on several occasions have had to phone someone, describe where I am and find out how to get where I need to be!

My bunch of girlies and myself were talking last night about what it is to be lost in the sense Jesus meant it - how we are/were all lost; how some seem more lost than others; how some don't know they're lost; how some almost deliberately get lost; how some, like me, are simply more prone to being lost! Jesus doesn't want us living in the land called 'Lost'. That's why he came to find us. But we can be a bit stubborn. Men have a reputation for never asking for directions - the macho thing apparently is to drive round in circles until you eventually find where you are going no matter how long it takes and how much fuel you waste! Can I say men are not the only ones? I have travelled many miles out of my way, not really 'lost' - simply taking the scenic route!

I put down my tendency to get lost to an absence of any sense of direction. I could easily go out my front door right now and take a wrong turn at the gate. So when I think of the whole thing of Jesus finding me - and I'm so glad he did - I see it as him giving me direction in life. It's like he found me, picked me up and pointed me in the right direction. And I haven't stopped since. Jesus has made a few gentle direction changes now and again, but I know with him I am on the right track. And with him I can never be truly lost. I'll never really end up in the middle of nowhere because with God there is always an amazing somewhere. Not only does he give us direction, keep us from getting lost, but he is also the destination. Can't get better than that.

Some one has said that things are never really lost. They are simply not where they were last seen or where they are meant to be. When Jesus came for us he came to place us where we are meant to be - and the adventure begins!

By the way, if you ever see me wandering anywhere looking lost, I probably am! I might tell you I am simply taking the scenic route, but that's generally not true, so have mercy, save me some energy and gently point me in the right direction!

Keeping up Appearances

To a Louse (on seeing one on a lady's bonnet at church)

'And would that some Power the small gift give us

To see ourselves as others see us!

It would from many a blunder free us'

Robbie Burns

I wonder how we see ourselves? We can be quick to comment on others - even if not out loud! - their dress, hair or general appearance. It's said that within seconds of someone entering a room we will have made several judgments about them, much of that based on appearance. I look at teens sometimes and think - it's ok; it's a phase; she'll grow out of it - but also remember my teens when no doubt many an adult thought the same! I can still hear my dad - 'you're not going out like that, are you?' Beyond the teenage years the trend today seems to be to look as young as you can for as long as you can, with teeth as white as possible and skin - well, orange seems to be all the rage!

Does it really matter how someone else sees you? Well, according to Robbie Burns it just might save some embarrassment. It's useful to have that person around to tell you that a sample of your dinner is all down your front or that you are about to go out in your slippers! But in a sense it matters not, as long as you're happy.

When I was putting together this little picture I had a wee smile to myself when I saw the grey hair option. I didn't have to 'pretend' I was still dark-haired or go blonde. I could be me. And that is what is important - to be me. God made a 'one of' when he made me. I am unique. Physically I inherited some of me. How I dress is my choice. Mannerisms etc I have picked up over years. 

I am me. And I am perfectly happy being me. The thing is it has little to do with appearance. What makes me me is what is inside, and while that is certainly not perfect, it is what God sees and what he is working on - a beautiful work of art! And that is true for us all.

By the way, if I do go out in my slippers no one will notice as they are like boots! I can get away with that one. But if you ever see me with the remains of dinner down my front, please feel free to point it out - but then quickly duck!

Dream on!

I wonder if you remember your dreams on waking in the morning - that's if you get to sleep in the first place? I usually do remember mine and what adventures I have! I climb the odd mountain, swim the odd sea and travel the world. But mostly I get lost - just like I do in real life!

I love this wee phrase which I read today - 'You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream'. Even when I read it I could feel my heart beat faster with the excitement of wondering what next?!

It is sad that many people, as they grow older, cease to dream, and rather than set goals, simply drift from day to day as though they were in what some call 'God's waiting room'. I can remember my wonderful, funny grandmother eyeing a new coat, wondering whether to buy it, but deciding she wouldn't get the years out of it that it deserved price-wise - she'd be gone before the coat wore out! I don't think my gran lacked the ability to dream - she was just being realistic!

I know others though who are constantly taking on new challenges, dreaming and seeing dreams come true no matter how late in life. Those people inspired me as I grew older - and they still do. But what moves me to dream most of all is the God who is the God of the impossible - if the dream is God-given he will make it come true. He will make the goal achievable. Sometimes we need to step up and take the challenge.

Dreams and goals give purpose to life and save us from drifting aimlessly through life until we fizzle out. God defend me from fizzling! I was once involved in visiting an older lady who was coming to the end of her earthly life, and one day as I sat by her bedside in hospital on a day when she was too weak even to speak she managed one sentence - 'Miriam, make sure my funeral is good'. We'd talked about this before as she was adamant that her funeral would be less about her and all about reaching people for Jesus and glorifying God. I knew exactly what she meant. You could say that her final earthly goal was to die well and bring people and glory to God in her departing. She never let go of goals and never stopped dreaming. 

To all my friends, but today particularly to my older friends, I'd say - dream big - God is bigger and able to make those dreams become a reality. Who knows where those dreams will take you. After all, like me, I'm sure you really want to go off like a rocket and not fizzle out like a damp squib!

People who need people

I thought when I stopped work I'd have loads of time for hobbies. How foolish was that?! Don't get me wrong I have lots of time to do things I enjoy, but much of that time is taken up with fund raising ideas - how to make money for Rwanda is top of the list. One hobby I haven't had much time for involves little houses. I love dolls' houses - notice the plural! I have 3! I love them - enjoy decorating, finding furniture, making curtains etc. And one day hopefully there'll be more time to 'play'!

One thing I notice about my houses is that there are lots of quirky little items there, but no people. There are a couple of tiny babies in their cot. but no big people. There are some lovely chairs, but no one to sit on them. Last evening, with some friends we were talking about encouraging each other - I mentioned this a few days ago in 'Weighty Matters' I think it was called - how we need to be in our place - take our seat - be where we are meant to be. That's where we find encouragement and also the opportunities to encourage others.

Today my houses remind me that we can spend a lot of time on stuff and not enough on people. We can spend a lot of time on appearances and not enough on the things that will last. We can fill our lives with nice things but still feel empty. 

We need people and people need us. The reason my houses have no people in them - before the psychologist in you comes up with some wacky reason! - is that I haven't yet found little people I like the look of. Maybe some day I'll find some I like. Real life though is not like that - we are a bunch of all sorts. If we only go for people we 'like the look of' we'll miss out on such a lot - opportunities to learn, encourage and be encouraged. 

And if anyone out there finds some little people I might like the look of please let me know - but I am very fussy about who I hang out with in my miniature world! Now that does sound worrying - even to me!

Party time!

Do you ever throw a 'pity party'? If so, please don't invite me! And I'll promise, when I have one, I'll keep it to myself. Self-pity must be one of the least attractive of qualities. Actually rather than attract, it is more likely to repel. 'Pity parties' tend to have few guests - often lonely affairs; and not happy events even for the host.

And pity for others? We're often told 'they' don't want it. It can be demeaning for the one on the receiving end and can cause feelings of superiority in the giver. Pity can simply leave us feeling sad and helpless.

Now compassion - 'C' is for compassion in my little blog alphabet - that's a different thing. I read somewhere recently that 'pity is a feeling; compassion is a verb'. I immediately feel better, as a verb means I can do something. All these feelings of pity, sadness, helplessness etc I can do something about. I can turn feelings into actions. 

God is a compassionate God and Jesus shows us the way. A few nights ago with my lovely 'girlz' group we read a story of Jesus healing a man with leprosy. Jesus was moved by compassion and reached out and touched the man. Yes, he healed him, but that touch alone must have been amazing to a man whose life was spent avoiding others and being shunned by them. 

Compassion asks us to reach out and do something - touch the untouchable. Today it's unlikely to be a person with leprosy for most of us, but there are many around us who are alone, vulnerable, sick, needy, troubled - who don't need our pity, but yes, need the compassion Jesus can place in our hearts.

And then there's a bonus because as we reach out in compassion for others, there's less and less room for self pity - more room for action. And who knows where that might take us?!

BIG girl now!

'You're a big girl now' I can still hear my mother, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to have heard these words. Especially if you were the big sister, they were thrown at you all too often! For me it usually happened if I was caught teasing my brother (never!) or getting him into trouble (double never!). The idea was that I ought to know better - being the 'big girl'. Thing is, there were times when I didn't want to be the big girl and carry the can every time. And yet, I was my brother's protector and would have given my life for him. One of my treasured possessions is a card from the grown up version written to 'the best big sister ever'.

Today was drop in cafe day and I was referred to as 'that big girl' by one of my wee drop in mates. Those of you who know me well know that I am far from big - and shrinking fast! But it is all in the eye of the beholder and in some way today I was 'big'. There were some heavy conversations in the cafe today - big issues of life and death; heaven and hell; and what dog food is best! I don't feel big dealing with some of this. In fact, I feel very small at times. But my secret is I have a great big God who loves all the slightly 'lost for the moment' souls who come our way. As often happens, this morning I ranged from tremendous laughter to almost tears because God has given this little woman a big heart - so maybe in that way I am a 'big girl now'.

I was also called 'sweetheart' today by the same person - and my prayer is that my heart always remains soft and sweet towards those who need a mama, a grandma - or even a big sister now and again.

Weighty matters!

Weight Watchers today - now for those who say - 'you don't need to be losing weight' - and I know who you are! - you're possibly right - but only because I watch it - hence weight watchers! This was actually the first meeting I'd been to in ages. Up until now I didn't really want to 'watch' or see the results of all the Christmas chocs! It's like if I don't see it, it hasn't happened. Then came the excuses - too busy, too sick, weather's too bad or I'm just too tired. Yes, I can see a lack of imagination there! There may have been a little truth in all of those, but they were excuses.

Today's weight watching experience was a positive one - I lost a little weight - that's the other thing about going or not - the trick is to go when you think the news is going to be good! I think there's something wrong with that theory, but sometimes it's a must. But there were other positives. I'd forgotten how much fun our class is with the nutty professor of a leader. And I'd forgotten how good it was to make the friends we have there. It was so lovely to be greeted by so many who not only remembered me, but had missed me. It was good to hear their stories and join in again with the congratulations or commiserations, depending on the dreaded scales!

I'm glad I'm back in the fold - not that I was ever really gone - just AWOL for a little while. There was a little notice up in class today which said something about not leaving your chair empty - in other words - don't weigh in, skip the actual class and go - unless of course you're on your way to work or something. And the reason was that we all need each other for support and encouragement - even in the old weight loss battle!

We've been asked to talk to a small group of people about encouragement and hope - who'd have thought a silly old weight watchers class would remind me that simply my being wherever in my seat, in my right God-given place, is an encouragement to others. 

That has challenged me and made me think - but I think I need some chocolate now to help the thinking process along!

'B' is for . . . . .

I love chocolate and one of my favourites is a Bounty bar - reminds me of my dad as it was his very favourite.  This morning, even before I had begun to think of what 'B' might be for in my blog alphabet, I read this verse - 'the earth is the Lord's and everything in it' God is a bountiful God.

God gives us so much and he can promise and give so much because it is all his and at his disposal. We have promises that we will have what we need if we trust him. We are encouraged not to worry, but to trust that God will provide. We are challenged to ask so that we will receive.

Yet I, for one, do have questions in my mind when I see the hungry suffer. I do wonder why a few have so much, while the many go without. I have seen God provide in amazing ways, but I have also been in situations of utter helplessness where I have had to turn people away hungry. 

I don't have all the answers; haven't even voiced all the questions. But one thought for today on this. Maybe when we speak of God's bounty, God's provision, and having everything we need, maybe we are looking at all the wrong things. Maybe we need to begin at the beginning.

Alongside my Bible verse this morning I read this quote - 'The man who has God for his treasure has all things in one' Tozer. Reminds me of the New Testament thought to 'seek first the kingdom'. And the idea of where our heart is that's where our treasure is. 

God is a bountiful and generous God - yes, we may have our questions as we live and puzzle it out in a damaged world - but how can we question God's generosity when he sent his most precious possession to save us - to bring us that one thing we need more that all else - salvation - true treasure.

Only words

According to a clinical professor of psychiatry in California 'a woman speaks around 20,000 words per day while a man uses 7,000'. I think I might have something to say about that! Apparently the actual figures are up for debate, but it is generally agreed that women have more to say than men.

I love words and am currently fascinated by how they change their meaning over time. Like 'sick', for example, which used to mean sick and now means something really good!

Yesterday I saw a child's alphabet drawings which have inspired me to do a blog alphabet of words to describe God - and certainly there you can find lots of words which over time have changed their meanings. Let's see how it goes!

'A' is for 'awesome'.  Very helpfully (not!) a dictionary definition says it means 'inspiring awe'. And awe means anything from a kind of fear to something like wonder. It is often an over-used word and so becomes meaningless. But the word 'wonder' is one that helps me here. It's like those moments when you look at something and it takes your breath away, leaves you speechless (yes, even if you're a woman!) and lifts your heart and soul.

A brand new baby does it for me, and I've seen a few of those recently - it's the tiny little toes or teeny weeny fingernails. It can be particularly spectacular scenery or even something scary like the storms we've been having lately - after all, scary is part of awe.

Maybe I'll be sorry I didn't keep 'wonder' for 'W' but awe and wonder somehow go together for me. I have a little Willow Tree 'Angel of Wonder' which someone gave me following my mum's death. It is a reminder for me of my mum, and especially the last things she was able to say to me. As I sat with her the day before she died she seemed far away but at peace, and kept repeating the words 'wonderful, wonderful'. My mum was ready and wanted to go 'home' and I believe in those moments had a glimpse of Heaven.

Now that is awesome for me. Those moments I'll treasure forever, and forever be thankful to my awesome God.

Run the race

Once upon a time I was a 'Spice Girl' - all in the cause of entertainment at a 'do' at church. It was good fun and certainly entertaining - though that might depend on your definition of the word!  Possibly the most absurd aspect of the whole thing was that I was 'Sporty Spice', because if you knew me well you would know that there is not a sporty bone in my body.

One of my greatest dislikes in school was sport, and particularly running. Time and time again I would be part way round the track thinking 'what's the point?' I never got the point in starting to run just to get to the end and stop running! As for trying to beat someone else - well, it always seemed so much more important to that 'someone else' so why not let them have it?! Not only do I not have a sporty bone about me, but there is rarely any trace of competitiveness either. The latter has caused a few problems with competitors whose cry of 'you're not really trying' I can still hear.

Today this is what I read in my Bible - 'Run in such a way as to get the prize'. Now this race I do get - the race of life you might call it. I have a goal in this one - to live well, serve Jesus and others and reach 'home'. I will run and run and run to win this one because there is a point and a purpose. There is a point in the 'running' and there is a clear goal well worth reaching. Someone prayed with me when I was coming up to retirement and said they believed God wanted me to know that I wouldn't drift into Heaven or stagger over the line, but would 'hit Heaven running'. That was an amazing thought. I pray so much it's true - and I will keep running to make sure it is!

By the time I get there I may well be old and doddery but in my heart I will, with God's help, run across that finish line and know for sure that there really was a point and winning the race was worth everything.

Funny thing struck me as I read the Bible stuff this morning - I hardly noticed the bit about the prize because it hit me that the race itself alone is worth running. There is such a reward in running with Jesus in life - the reward is part of it all at the end, and wonderful and amazing and well, beyond description. But for now, the race is reward enough. 

Never thought I'd say that of any race!