Food for thought

I know just now lots of friends (those who 'do' Lent) are looking forward to the cakes, biscuits, chocolate etc they gave up for the season. I'm not a Lent giver upper as such myself, and if I do give up something, it's to take up something else. So chocolate has remained faithfully by my side and in my tummy all through Lent!

We did, however, decide to choose some weeks during Lent to live on £1 a day Monday to Friday. It wasn't, as some suggested, yet another wacky diet! It wasn't to save money, though of course we did. It was to identify in some small way with those for whom £1 a day is a lot of money, and daily makes the difference between eating and going hungry. As we did this I was conscious almost moment by moment of one young Rwandan friend who earns £1 selling tomatoes - and that's on a good day. 

So, how did it go? Lesson number 1 was a lesson in thankfulness and appreciation. I am more thankful than ever for what I have day by day. I got hungry occasionally over the few weeks, but always knew I would be eating again soon. It wasn't as bad as a few occasions in my past when I have been very hungry and didn't know when I would next eat - but the experience this time around gave me time to think even more of those I know for whom finding food is a daily stress and takes up much of the day.

Lesson 2 was all about how much of our lives centres around food. there is a good side to that of course - eating even in Bible times was a fellowship thing - and eating together - especially for an 'occasion' is very special. But I couldn't help noticing the huge amount of eating out is done if fb posts are anything to go by. We eat and waste a colossal amount of food. In other parts of the world lives also centre around food, but more on simply finding enough.

Lesson 3 taught me I can do on much less that I think, but I now enjoy my treats so much more. Tied up with this is the thought that what I do directly affects others. I remember my niece, when very small, being reminded by my mum of all the children in Peru, where I worked at the time, who would be glad of the dinner she was refusing to eat. Her response was the classic suggestion of packing her dinner up and sending it to those hungry children! Totally impractical I know, but I can see to it on my small level, that because I do on less, someone can eat today.

There are many more lessons, but finally - a bit like what I've said - it made me think of the whole 'need v greed' thing. I don't want to sound like some kind of killjoy who never has treats, enjoys food or parties occasionally - just now planning where to go for my upcoming birthday treat! But we are greedy and our greed, in one way or another, has an effect on another's need. It is all food for thought.

This experience has changed me, but the Easter eggs are waiting in the cupboard! I even managed to have a choc digestive with my cuppa during my £1 a day weeks and I very much appreciate all God gives me - actually even more than ever.

Never Again

Today is Rwanda's Genocide Memorial Day. It is 20 years since one of the world's most awful atrocities. I'm old enough to remember the news reports of the time; the horror and the not quite understanding what exactly was happening in a small country so far away. Little did I know that one day that small country would win my heart. I had no idea then that I would even go there, let alone serve God there, have friends and 'family' there and grow to love the country and its people so much.

Today I think of all the people whose stories have touched and broken my heart. I think of a mother forced to watch as her children were killed before her eyes and then left to remember. I think of a boy found beneath his mother's body - too young to really understand, but left with the trauma nonetheless. And I think of a young girl with a baby strapped to her back - a grenade killing the baby and leaving her with the lasting memory, and shrapnel still lodged in her head. And so so many more.

However, as many of my Rwandan friends would remind me, that is not all today is about. It is about 'celebrating hope' as one of them said earlier. It is

about the courage to forgive and rebuild. It is about 'a hope and a future' as the Bible would say. Rwanda has moved on from 1994 in ways no one could have foreseen - not the perfect country; not without its challenges and no doubt faults - but the healing and restoration in my beloved Rwanda is amazing.

So we celebrate and look to the future, and we say with Rwandans today 'never again'. But today is the day you will hear about 'kwibuka' - remembering. To forgive does not mean to forget and all those who died, those orphaned, widowed and left childless, and those left with unimaginable physical, emotional and mental scars deserve to be remembered today. Forgive might not mean forget, but Rwanda has reminded me that forgiveness changes how we remember - and that changes everything.

Mum's the word

After all the 'overdosing' on mothers yesterday I'm daring to visit the subject one more time! I have to agree with a number of the sentiments, but was left with the conclusion that no way did I have the best mum ever - if you take a look at fb messages, there are just so many others out there! None of us is perfect and I didn't have the perfect mum - but the most important conclusion I came to yesterday was that she was mine and I loved her.

More importantly my heart went out yesterday to some lovely friends who I know longed for children they were never able to have; others who lost babies and children and never had others; and some little children who have lost mum. It's true of any celebration of anything - there will always be those for whom 'celebrate' is not quite the right word.

I have met some amazing mothers - here, but especially overseas. When things were tough many years back in Peru, mothers came to me looking for food - not for themselves, but always for their children - and often sacrificed everything short of life itself to feed them. I still meet incredible mothers in Rwanda, who against awful odds, raise strong, beautiful, Godly children. And I meet many many orphaned children, who without a mother, have raised themselves with the help of some often unsung mother figures. 

And I am 'mama' to some of the most amazing children ever - but then maybe I'm just a little bit biased! I never had children, but I love my African and Peruvian children with a passion. In Peru we often sang the song 'Jesus loves the little children - all the children of the world'. Today I am so thankful for all 'my' children and trust they will always know themselves much much loved by me, but most especially by God.

And to all you lovely friends out there who are mothers - for the last time this year - HAPPY (belated) MOTHERS DAY! May God help you do an amazing job x

  

Sound talk

Someone somewhere, according to a news report today, is making an archive of sounds from the past before the time comes when we hear them no more. Got us thinking what sounds from the past would we preserve or love to hear again. I'm sure, given time, I could come up with quite a list - but here are some. 

The sound of lawnmowers (the push kind) and old style hedge clippers ushering in long, hot summers - well, that's how I remember them!. The ring of the hand held school bell - especially when you were given the privilege of

ringing it. I remember being allowed to ring a similar bell in hospital to signal the end of visiting. The sound of guiders racing down the hill at the end of our street on ball bearing wheels. River sounds as we played endless games by the Lagan with no 'health and safety' concerns. The noise made by a steam train approaching the station - it scared me a bit, but often meant holidays in Bangor! My grandad's voice saying my name. 

Sounds, like smells, can be very evocative and moving. They can take us back to places and events almost forgotten. As I was doing the list above I was well aware of sounds that would haunt me if I let them - sounds I'd rather  be able to forget if I could. But I choose to remember the good sounds.

We live in a world today of constant sound - or noise. Some people seem permanently attached to sound from phones, ipods and the like. You could get the impression that there is no room for 'the sound of silence'. I'm reminded that God speaks often with that still, small voice; God speaks often in the silence. 

And my favourite sounds today? Babies giggling - the best sound ever. That first Sunday back in Rwanda each time with the sound of worship coming from church. 

Rust Proof

I love a bargain. I love something that proves its value. So many things today are throw-away, and while some of that is good, it makes for a lot of waste. Everyone has to have the latest whatever, so the not-the-latest becomes quickly obsolete.

Yesterday I was sorting my sewing box and found these little fasteners. The age might tell you how long has passed since I sorted my sewing bits! The 7D was what I noticed first, and that made me smile. I'm still trying to work out how much pre-decimal 7D is in real/today's money!? I am old enough to remember the arrival of the 'new pence'. I remember my grandmother handing her purse over to a shop assistant and saying - 'take what I owe you from there' - as she struggled to cope. Like most things with my gran, 'nothing good would come from 'them' changing our money'! And every time I spend 60p or so on a wee bun or a chocolate bar I can still hear my mum saying - '12 shillings - I'm not paying that!'

Then I noticed the 'rust proof' on the card of snap fasteners. And, would you believe it, there are 6 little poppers left on the card and not a speck of rust to be found! I have to say I was impressed. I wish I could find Mr Newey and tell him how good his fasteners were. I reckon they are certainly around 50 years old. Now for whoever bought them - that is a bargain!

I wish I'd lasted as well. I wish I hadn't the spongey bones, creaky joints and crummy vocal chords - though thankful for the good bits too! But one thing I never want to do is rust. Rust happens when something is neglected and not used. Or not made of the right stuff to last and do its job. I want to keep on going right to the end - bright and shiny and useful to God who made me. He certainly made me of the right stuff. It's up to me not to neglect what he has given me and to use all the resources he has provided me with for the purpose he made me for. 

The sewing box is all tidy with things I'm likely to use now easier to find - and whether I'm likely to ever use them, the poppers are going back in there cos it would be a shame to get rid of them after all this time now, wouldn't it?!

'Yeh but, no but.....'

At times I have to confess to being a bit of a procrastinator. I could make those calls now, but I'll wait until I've worked out what to say. I could do

those letters now, but there's still time. I could do some cleaning today, but there's always tomorrow. That last one tells me why putting off stuff is not a good idea as 'there is always tomorrow' is not necessarily true. Don't they say that 'procrastination is the thief of time'? That little word 'but' is a dangerous one, used for putting things off, making excuses or really saying no in another way.

A while back I remember saying that I don't think I've ever said 'but' to God. It made me thing really hard, wondering if that really was true. There have been times when I could have maybe:

Ok, I'll become a Christian, but I don't want to be like the rest of them!

Ok, I'll go anywhere, but maybe not Africa - God got the last laugh on that one 30 years later!

Ok, I'll go and live and work overseas, but after everything's sorted at home.

And I could go on. 

It would be so easy to try to go God's way on our terms - with the 'buts' taking us on little, seemingly more convenient detours. 

I want my 'yes' to God to be YES. The minute I say 'yes, but' it is no longer 'yes' but 'no'. And I'm sure we've all heard the old thing about you can't have 'no' and God in the one phrase. 'No God' simply can't be said.

'Yes, but' is really saying 'If we can do it my way at my time, when it suits me'. It's making excuses - we call them reasons! It's saying that I still want control. And that's precisely why we can't say 'but' or 'no' to God. He is in control and saying our yes to him is acknowledging that and going for it with him.

I just know that if I'd said 'but' to God in the past, including those above, I would have missed out on so much. I quoted above the old saying about procrastination being the thief of time - I heard another version recently which said that procrastination is the thief of dreams. So I hope I do always have the grace to stifle the 'buts' and say my YES to God each and every time he calls. 

Now, does this mean the housework will be done today? - in a word - NO! 

And if tomorrow doesn't come, too bad!

Enough is enough!

Some people have a 'bucket list' - things they want to do before they die or run out of steam! This can include places to visit. Last year I got to visit Rome - somewhere I'd always wanted to see. It can be something like learning a new language - maybe I'll get to grips with Kinyarwanda before I run out of steam! For some, it might be something new to experience - swimming with sharks, riding the world's most scary rollercoaster or jumping form an aeroplane - that's a no, no and another no from me then!

Others have a similar list, though this time it's the 'when I win the Lottery' list. I don't even get off the starting blocks on that one because it's hard to win when you're not in! But like many others I imagine, I have dreamt about what I would do with £1,000,000. 

I spent an hour in church this morning as we're open for 24/7 prayer. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and the way it helps me focus on God and the things of life that really matter. A phrase that stands out for me today from that experience is 'I lack nothing' reminding me that I have so much, and so much to be thankful for. It reminds me that whatever I have, I have enough. I lack NOTHING.

The world might tell me I need this, that or the other to be happy or fulfilled. It might tell me that without such and such an experience I 'haven't lived'. I might be led to believe that I am something less than complete because I haven't done . . . . whatever. 

But I know better. I know 'I lack nothing' and in Christ am happy, fulfilled and complete.